PASSION
Your Spiritual Center and Your Competitive Drive
The four basic needs of humanity are to live, love, learn, and leave a legacy. The greatest of these is love. High school and college-age students see the career choices and the large sums of money that are waiting for them in the fields of law, medicine, business and technology. These people-centered careers as a teacher, priest, rabbi, minister, social work, psychologist, and therapist are all “spiritual callings”. These professional fields of calling have huge rewards but not on the human plane. The huge rewards are on the spiritual plane, and it is this message that is important for future leaders in these people-center careers.
The models and the mentors need to come forward, publish books and articles, give motivational speeches and lecture at high schools and college campuses to inspire talented students who feel called to make a commitment to help others. It is so moving to see a talented college graduate postpone their career to serve as a missionary in a foreign country or dedicate years to the Peace Corps. Others help needy children even though there own needs must be put on hold including their career and their bank account. Yet others embrace adoption and foster care for children on the street or special needs children or bringing together sibling that have been separated due to family conflicts.
Service and giving to others of all ages is one of the most satisfying and liberating actions a person can extend to others. Terminal cancer wards in hospital need help. Those suffering from fatal diseases need love and attention. Families who have lost their parents and parents who have lost their children need empathy, compassion, and understanding. Those in prison who have committed crimes against humanity need forgiveness as they pay their debt to society.
Who will provide these services, and who will care enough to put their own agendas aside to help others in great need. There are those who will talk the talk and others who will walk the walk. Those who are being lead daily from their spiritual center have no difficulty making the right decisions and make the right choices in their daily life. Some call these individuals “old souls." Simply, “they get it.”
The media in western society is interested in discovering who is #1. The Guiness Book of Records is all about who is #1. The daily sports page devotes a full page to who is #1 in a variety of categories. The number of television award shows has expanded to an all-time high to discover who is #1 in each category. Families have their own built-in pecking order on a wide variety of topics for their children and grandchildren.
The competitive spirit is of high priority in western culture. Boys are to be competitive, and girls as of the implementation of title IX in the '70s are now being encouraged to be as competitive if not more competitive than the boys. We see more young girls wearing shirts that have logos like “girl power” and “girls are #1.” Girls are on wresting teams at the high school level, and when girls beat the boys, often the boys quit from embarrassment and shame. We see girls on football teams playing a variety of positions. Most high schools are very careful to include both genders in their extracurricular sports programs.
Competition gives an individual the feeling that they count. They are somebody. The have value. The seek respect and competing to reach the status of being #1 gives them the self-confidence and self-image they are striving for. It is possible to be a great competitor and talented in a specific competition, not achieve that #1 status, but still feel great about yourself because of how well you have improved or how much better your team did this year over last year. But it should be clear that to achieve self-importance via competition you have to hurt someone else physically, mentally, emotionally, or psychologically to achieve your winning feeling of self-importance.
For some competitors winning is like a drug. They can only feel as good as their last win. Losing is unacceptable even with the big professional paychecks. Money does not equate with winning. Others need the competition to keep emotionally high. To lose is a big down and to comeback from being down and to win is an all-time emotional high.
For others, learning how to lose gracefully and win humbly is the lesson that is of value. Many parents justify their child's participation in competitive sports with this viewpoint: it is all about learning life skills. Life is competitive. Jobs are competitive. Life is about handling the disappointments and the successes. For many students and their families there is a strong feeling that competition best teaches children these lessons in life-survival skills.
However, what experiences are there for the other 80% of a school population who are not competitive in academics or athletics. What activities and experiences are there for them in school that will match the academic and athletic experience for the elite 20% of the school? Music, art, dance, drama, and service clubs are good choices along with managing a sports team by assisting the coaches with all the details of athletic competition or academic competition.
Over the years I have known many students who joined a team sport, participated all four years, went to every practice, but contributed almost nothing to the athletic success of the team. However, these students kept themselves in good physical shape, enjoyed the camaraderie with the other athletes, and provided the team with a high level of enthusiasm and spirit before, during, and after competitions - win or lose.
The reality is that only a small percentage of high school and college students actually are on the first string of an athletic team sport and contribute to the success of a team. Some team sports like tennis, diving, swimming, and wrestling require intense individual competition that is added together for a final score. Most large high schools have in excess of 2,000 students. Only five of those students can start on the basketball team, eleven start on a football team, eleven start on a soccer team, and nine start on a baseball team.
The same is true of competitive academic teams like Science Olympiad, Mathcounts, Spell Bowl, Middle U.N., and Geography Bowl. These extracurricular academic groups are comprised of only the very best in the school. The teams are smaller than most athletic teams, and the competition to be #1 is very rigorous. Like with athletic teams academic teams that go to the national finals return home as heroes. They are #1 in the country. It is similar to winning the Olympics.
Taking a competitive view of the world to the religious and political levels, the drive instilled in our youth to feel good by beating others in competition has caused generation after generation grief, anger and disappointment. Although innocent high school and college competition for most is fun, exciting, and motivating, the competitive drive to overtake others because of their political, religious, or racial differences has been historically disappointing, upsetting, and at times horrific. Many say that the 20th century will go down in world history as the bloodiest century of all time with more death and destruction than at any other time in human history.
Religion and religious denominations are at the heart of most cultures throughout history. Some respect their religion one hour per week, others tithe to support their religious beliefs, and others give hours of weekly service. However, many wars have been fought over the topic of religion, and many lives have been lost because of conflicts of previous generations. At the turn of the millennium there is much concern about the anger of our youth and why there is so much aggression in our schools and our homes. Much of that anger was based on the elitism found in every high school, and the informal pecking order and labels that students give each other. Historically, this hurtful reality has been apart of all youth culture worldwide.
Deepak Chopra writes about the seven spiritual laws for families and begins not with one's religion or denomination, but with the universal knowledge and respect for the basic spiritual laws for all people for all time. Connecting to the universal intelligence, going with the flow, knowing that both good and bad karma are rewarded, and helping others are the basics of the spiritual laws.
Stephen Covey writes about the seven habits of highly successful people. Much of his focus is on the universal principles of all mankind in all cultures for all time. The focus is on the inner spiritual strength of each individual that connects us all at the center of our souls on the topics of right and wrong and the topics of good and bad. Interdependent thinking, puffing first things first, beginning with the end in mind, creating win-win situations with others, and continually upgrading your skills and knowledge are the basics of his recommendations for success in life as an individual, family, or organization.
Daniel Goleman talks about the importance of emotional intelligence and how our empathy, compassion, and gut instinct are more important in the workplace than academic intelligence. The workplace for the 21st century will require individuals to show their emotional intelligence by demonstrating empathy and compassion for their colleagues and follow workers. The academic skills needed for the job can be taught by the organization on the job; however, individuals must internally have the gifts of empathy, compassion, and caring. These gifts cannot be taught or tested.
These writers and spiritual leaders have found the truth about living a long, prosperous and meaningful life, and they did not find those answers on the football field or the basketball court in a competitive baffle to beat another human being. Competition is about competition. Life skills are about life skills. Higher level thinking requires a whole other look as to why we are here, what our individual mission is, and how we are going to live our lives to help others.
Mother Thereasa, in one of her last visits to the United States, said, “I find this country the most deprived spiritually of any country I have visited.” Parents of the 21st century are going to have to behave differently. They are going to need to read beyond the weekly news magazines and daily papers. They are going to have to reach out beyond the latest pop culture of music, clothes, toys, electronics, cars, hair styles, and shoe styles.
The 21st century will need model parents and mentor teachers who are going to lead their children and students from the human plane of negative emotions to the spiritual plane of classical principles and joyful thinking. Motivation must begin inside one's soul and work towards human behavior rather than the reverse.
Each child needs to know from the beginning of his/her life that he/she is here for an important mission, and he/she is the only person who can fulfill that mission in his/her life. Despite the human cravings for the current fads of the pop culture of the day and despite the huge appetite society has for competing against everyone and everything to build one's self-image, the universal spiritual laws for every child has been and will continue to be the way, the truth, and the best life for the generations of the next millennium.
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