PATIENCE
The Mentor and the Teacher
My entire life story centers around my need and my search for mentors, not teachers, mentors. I felt very fortunate about my many searches which began in earnest when I was in the fifth grade. I found my mentors at school, in scouts, in athletics, and at church. As I progressed through elementary, middle school, and high school, I had a team of mentors, and I was spending tremendous amounts of time every day in all four of these social situations and tried with all my strength to please these mentors. My highest achievement was in music, government, church activities, and scouting as these were the areas where my mentors really were changing my life.
My personal thirst for achievement was overwhelming and at times, almost out of control. In school I was the student conductor of the band, vice president of the choir and drama club, selected to attend Buckeye Boys State, and was a member of the Honor Society. Outside school I was an Eagle Scout, conductor of the adult choir, president of the youth group, and volunteering to help whenever and wherever needed. My life was so full that it felt as if one day was spilling over into the next day, and I loved every minute of that time of my life in high school. Not one minute was wasted. In hindsight, it was the team of mentors that attracted me to their way of life, their priorities, their values, and their zest for quality living.
I always considered the teacher as the person with the information who wants to share that information, and the student as the person who wants the information. The relationship is about the information. However, the mentor provides the teacher information but in addition takes a special emotional interest in your well being and recognizes and appreciates your unique skills, interest and commitment to a skill or way of life. The mentor is both encouraging you and protecting you so that your mission in life stays on course. The bonding goes very deep emotionally and can withstand the emotional ups and downs of life on the human plane. My mentors were my heroes, and I would extend to them all my physical and mental energy at any time to make things happen. Upon reflection, it is amazing how many hours I spent working on behalf of the missions of my mentors at school, church, and scouting.
As I enter my fourth decade of teaching, I think about all the lives I have touched as a teacher and those students for whom I was their mentor. It is amazing how vivid those memories and those experiences with those specific students are all these years later, and at the same time, those students who are presently under my care who continue to change my life because of their reaching out to me for my love and my commitment to them.
When one thinks of teaching, one usually thinks first of a classroom setting where there are twenty or more students sitting in some formation with the teacher standing in front of them presenting the information for the day. However, when one thinks of a mentor, one thinks of a one-to-one relationship. A relationship that is more personal, more trusting, more caring, and more committed than the traditional teacher-student relationship. In my teaching experiences I have the privilege to teach in both a traditional classroom situation and in a one-to-one relationship with private music students. I find all my students spiritual beings experiencing the challenges of being a human being and living in the duality's of the human plane.
Looking ahead and thinking about preparing future teachers for the 21st century and beyond, I think there needs to be much more emphasis on the emotional relationship teachers have with their students and the level of trust teachers are willing to share with their students. Not all students will respond, and not all students are looking for a mentor relationship with their teachers. However, there may be just one student who needs you desperately, and you both know it. Your mission is to not be afraid to go the extra mile in helping that student. Changing the life of one student is a major accomplishment and the real purpose of your mission as a teacher. Your mission is not and does not have to be to change the lives of 100% of your students or 50% of your students. Just one student works just right.
A new university president of one our most prestigious universities was asked the following question, “Knowing that your institution of higher education and others in the United States are respected worldwide for excellence in learning, why are our K-12 public schools struggling for academic success and respect?” The president's answer was simple, “The United States does not, as a group of parents and citizens, respect the occupation of K-12 public school teaching.”
As such, teacher salaries are low, the prestige of the occupation is low, the laws are constantly being written to empower the child, and thus, both teacher and parent are operating at the beginning of the 21st century in a limbo-like state with constantly changing legalities about who can do what to whom and who is in charge in every situation at home, school, church or community organizations.
Some outstanding teachers and mentors who have wonderful success stories to tell about their teaching experiences in the 70's and 80's will not allow themselves to open up as they once did with students and be vulnerable. There are too many laws written that discourage getting emotionally close to children for the right reason. Thus, there are too many opportunities for misinterpretation of the teacher's intent.
One of my most revered mentors stated, “Every student wants to be 'turned-on' about life and life's opportunities. They seek out in their local communities those individuals and those institutions that might help them. When they do not find these individuals and these institutions that will help them on their quest, they turn to artificial means to get 'turned-on' including drugs, suicide, and violence.”
Students are looking for acceptance. Students are looking for integration. Students are looking for honesty; real people with real values that live those values. Students are comfortable with people who walk the walk and not just talk the talk. Students want to know that their community will accept them for the good person they are despite their weaknesses and shortcomings.
Unfortunately, many American high schools polarize and alienate both individual students and groups of students by exaggerating the differences in academic excellence, athletic achievement, and social acceptance. There is both a formal and informal effort to point out the pecking order or labels among students. This daily ranking of students by specific labels is unfortunately a part of the American high school tradition, just read the annual yearbooks! Whether it is a yearbook from the 60's or the 90's, the basic format is the same: Who is the best male or female student in the chosen categories of accomplishment?
Peer pressure has taken on a new definition at the high school and middle school levels in the 90's with the repeated episodes of student violence from Florida to California. Accepting others with their human differences within an American high school setting is not a part of our heritage at the local, state, or national level. We have inherited violent story after violent story dating back to the Old Testament stories, the crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, repeated middle eastern and European religious conflicts, and repeated civil wars.
Schools are educational malls for children. Schools are the one place in our local communities that act as a magnet for local students. It is the source of a student's social life. Schools provide an easy network for students, and it is this school network where students have the opportunity to find that teacher who will be their mentor and change their life forever. For most students like myself, the school continues to be the source of salvation and hope. The school is where the mentors reside. The school is where we discover our talents and learn to believe in our talents. This discovery requires some help and encouragement. Who is going to encourage our doctors, lawyers, business leaders, and government officials to pursue their talents and dreams? The answer is not other doctors, lawyers, business leaders, and government officials; rather, it is the teacher, the mentor, and the school environment that takes the lead.
Too many people in our society from parents to politicians forget that teachers have the responsibility to shape the lives of our leaders for the 21st century. The hope for the future is that the 22nd century will take a more positive view of the K-12 teaching profession, and how it can more positively interact with local communities, local government agencies, and families. We are swimming upstream at present, but the goal is to unite those with the information and commitment with the local leaders so that our local public schools have the same prestige and respect as our leading universities across the country. Such a change in attitude will take a series of generations to learn from the strengths and weaknesses of previous generations. There is no quick fix on this topic; however, regardless of the ups and downs of the local educational institutions, those teachers and mentors will be there every day for the students who reach out for help.